Publisher’s description
A deeply moving middle grade novel in verse about a girl struggling with depression when she starts fifth grade amidst a sea of changes.
Pearl loves watching the majestic loggerhead turtles and octopuses glide through the water at the aquarium. Pearl finds it especially easy to identify with the octopuses, who have millions of touch receptors all over their bodies. They feel everything. Sometimes, Pearl wishes she was more like a turtle, with a hard outer shell—it hurts too much to feel everything.
And the changes at the start of fifth grade don’t feel good to Pearl at all. New teachers, lockers, and being in different classes than her friends is unsettling. Pearl tries her best to pretend she’s fine, but she starts to struggle with things that used to come easy, like schoolwork, laughing and skateboarding with her best friend, Rosie, running and even sleeping.
After a disastrous parent-teacher conference, her parents decide to bring Pearl to Dr. Jill, who diagnoses her with depression. At first Pearl is resistant to Dr. Jill’s help; she doesn’t like feeling different, but she also doesn’t want to continue feeling so bad all the time. When Dr. Jill asks Pearl to try one Impossible Thing each day, like running, skateboarding, or walking her dog Tuck, she decides to try. For each impossible thing she attempts, Pearl puts a bead on a string. Bead by bead, and with the support of family and friends, Pearl finds her way back to herself. She discovers just like the moon is always there in the sky, even if it isn’t full, she’ll always be herself even when she doesn’t feel whole.
In this tender novel-in-verse, critically acclaimed author Bobbie Pyron draws from her own experiences to tell the story of a brave girl learning to take care of and love herself.
Amanda’s thoughts
This book is beautiful. Yes, I mean the writing, but more than that, I mean the message. It’s such a nuanced, thorough, compassionate look at living with depression. I know we’ve been focusing heavily for years on books about mental health here at TLT and the biggest reasons for that are that talking openly about it spreads empathy and removes stigma. Books like this just did not exist not all that long ago and I’m always so grateful to encounter a character learning about their own experience and showing readers what it’s like or—more importantly—showing readers they’re not alone.
Pearl is 10 and, along with her best friends Rosie and Mia, headed into fifth grade. Lately, it’s felt like everything is changing. Her friends are solidifying their other interests and Pearl… well, Pearl is spending a lot more time hearing the mean little voice in her head. It’s a voice that loves to point out her failings, loves to be anxious, loves to fixate on what-ifs. The things that are changing the most for Pearl will sound pretty familiar to anyone with a passing knowledge of how depression can manifest: Pearl’s appetite it messed up; her sleep schedule is off; she has little interest in things; her grooming is suffering; her school work is suffering; she can’t understand why everyone else seems to be so happy so easily. For a long time, what Pearl is going through is dismissed as her being sensitive or her being moody. Her dad, who makes some major missteps (most egregiously viewing Pearl’s very real illness as just an emotion), writes it off as just a phase. But it’s not a phase (obviously). And, frankly, given that the family has had a really long time to observe Pearl’s beloved grandfather’s own depression (which he calls “headaches,” then takes to his bed for vast chunks of time), they should be recognizing as maybe a problem. But families aren’t perfect, and facing reality and calling things their actual names is easier said than done.
Here is what’s the most beautiful: Pearl gets help. She gets counseling, she learns so much about her illness, she learns how to share with others about her illness. She learns the most important lesson about depression: DEPRESSION LIES. Of course, sorting out truths and finding hope when that mean little voice is screaming inside your head isn’t simple, but through therapy, Pearl learns how to work on that. Pearl learns how to be strong and brave, how to put up with the ups and downs of depression, the setbacks, the hard days. She learns that she is more than her darkest times, more than her illness.
Told with the kind of raw honesty that can only come from someone who has been there (as the author note elaborates on), Pearl’s story is one of deep sadness, yes, but more importantly, it’s one of great hope. How wonderful that today’s young readers get stories like this. An essential and fantastic read.
Review copy (ARC) courtesy of the publisher
ISBN-13: 9780593616291
Publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group
Publication date: 03/25/2025
Age Range: 10 – 13 Years